Excellent essay! Thank you for sharing this part of yourself. I’m glad you are on the other side now, healthy and fully yourself.
I’m in my 40s now, and pretty much still broke, still dealing with daily, low-grade panic. I once fantasized about being a trophy wife (back when I was young enough to actually have a shot at it), but couldn’t go through with it for just those reasons. When your man pays for everything, he thinks he owns you. And no man could own me.
So here I sit, old and single, but at least I’m my own woman.