It’s all true, and our society and people in general seem to have no clue how hard it is to raise kids (in any situation).
Mine is grown and flown, so I have a little perspective to share with you. First, it will get better. Soon they will not only be able to wipe their own butts, but they can (and should) pick up their own toys, do their own laundry, and cook dinner a few nights a week.
But in the short term, your health (mental and physical) has to be a priority. You need YOU time! And you should do everything you can to make it happen. If at all possible, reach out to other moms to arrange rotating play-dates. Even a couple hours without the kids once a week can be a lifesaver.
Even if your partner works outside the home, he/she needs to give you a break at least once or twice a week too. Have them take the kids out for an evening activity (including feeding them) while you take a long shower, or reconnect with your friends, or binge-watch true-crime shows with a bottle of wine. Or whatever. You need downtime too!