My heart goes out to you, as a former single mom (and probably autistic) too. I don't know if this is helpful - so if it's not, just ignore it - but it's a "hack" that helped kept me from drowning in clutter. That is, create a system, and involve your daughter in it. Write it down on the fridge or sticky notes or wherever, so you don't have to expend any mental load, just check the list.

After each meal, scrape plates, toss trash, rinse dishes (or wash them totally, depending on the system that works for you).

Whenever you do the dishes, clean the counters and stovetop - or at least wipe them off.

Every evening (or whenever) before you go to bed, both of you pick up any trash or dirty dishes from your area and toss or rinse.

Of course a weekly cleaning day is good too, but I'm not even going to pretend that's always possible.

And one last thing I learned from watching Hoarders: whenever you buy something new, you have to do 2 things: 1. decide right away where it "lives," (in fact you should do this before you buy the thing) and 2. get rid of one similar item, so you keep your home "balanced" and not accumulating stuff.

Point is doing small things on a daily basis keeps the clutter and trash from piling up. Making lists helps me with the mental load a lot.

And if this is something you struggle with a lot, you might want to hire the services of a personal organizer, rather than just a housekeeper.