Wow. I think you’re missing a lot of info here, so let me break it down:

Most women, from the time they are children, are both sexualized by men and the culture around them, while at the same time, shamed and punished for expressing their own sexuality. Too many of us are raped — usually by men in our own families — before we’re old enough to drive. Needless to say, this creates a lot of dysfunction about sex.

Aside from dealing with PTSD from being sexually assaulted as a child — that’s a whole other issue — fearing slut-shaming seems to be a huge motivating factor in most young women, so of course they want to be “good” and not engage in casual sex. I say “most,” because there are plenty of young women who have no qualms about engaging in casual sex. But, these women have to fight not only slut-shaming, but men’s sexism — as in, the man will happily have sex with her, but then consider her “too easy” for any kind of relationship. So we’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.

This is of course not even addressing the many dysfunctions that most men have, thanks to their upbringing, which makes them emotionally crippled. I have sympathy for both sides.

The reason you see that change in stats — where women start enjoying casual sex more as they get older — is for many women, it takes *decades* to undo the toxic messages about sex they were given growing up. Some never do.

At the same time, as they gain more experience with relationships, they start to see that many (hashtag notallmen) men treat their wives and girlfriends like a one-person support team: domestic worker, therapist, social network, secretary, etc., etc., etc. A lot of women resent the expectation that they do so much of the work, so they decide they simply aren’t going to have it anymore. They realize it’s much easier to live single.

And the greeenhous-gas-from-air-travel argument: sure, air travel is bad for the environment. But the number of women jetting off on sex holidays is, I suspect, FAR fewer than the number of men who do the same — and have been for decades.

I 100% agree with you that we need to change our attitudes about sex and relationships, so that men, women, and anyone else can be honest and expect respect from each other. It’s so deeply ingrained in our culture, it’s going to be difficult to change, though we have made great strides since the 60s.

I think this has to start with how we raise our children: stop putting so much shame around sex, and stop punishing boys for expressing their emotions. Have positive, medically accurate sex education freely available. Teach girls they don’t have to do everything and try to please everyone, and teach boys to take care of themselves socially, emotionally, and domestically. And of course, legalize and regulate sex work — which will also make sex workers’ lives a lot safer.

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